Article newsfeed http://www.hvparent.com/ en-us Copyright 2009 The Professional Image. All Rights Reserved. Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://www.rssdotnet.com/ The estate planning process, especially when parents are planning for the future security of a child with special needs, can often seem overwhelming. But when you have taken the steps necessary to accomplish these objectives, it is a great sense of relief.   As a general rule, we should keep our estate planning documents in a safe place, which is readily accessible in the event they are needed. Parents of children with special needs should also use a binder that contains all the information that future caregivers will need to carry on after the parents are gone.   The information in the binder should be updated periodically to reflect changes in family circumstances, changes in the needs or desires of your child, and other issues that may assist your child's future caregivers in carrying out their duties. The binder should generally contain separate folders in which you place the following:   1. Important legal papers for any children with special needs (for example, birth certificates, Social Security cards, and health-insurance cards).   2. The Letter of Intent, which parents should update at least once per year. The Letter of Intent is a nonbinding document that passes vital information about a person with a disability to future caregivers. It can include such things as your child's sleeping preferences, eating habits, and many other important aspects of your child's daily routine. While these items may be second nature to you, it is important not to take them for granted. After all, in many cases, the future caregivers assume their role in caring for your child without having actually lived a day in your shoes.   3. Written instructions spelling out any wishes regarding final arrangements (burial, cremation, or religious services or other ceremonies that may be desired).   4. Advance health care and financial directives such as powers of attorney, living wills, and health care proxies. By having these documents in a binder which can be accessed when needed you can save your family the heartache and expense of a guardianship proceeding should you become incapacitated.   5. Copies of any trusts: special needs trusts, living trusts, or insurance trusts- that may have been prepared. Remember, signed copies or originals may be needed to complete property transfers. Thus, you should also provide Information about where the original documents are kept.   6. A list of major assets and information about where they are kept (for example, a list of insurance policies, stocks, mutual funds, bank accounts, with policy and account numbers, and the names of any brokers, insurance agents, and investment advisors).   7. Guardianship papers for your child with special needs, if any, and a list of advocacy organizations that may be helpful. Also, write down any personal reflections or thoughts you may have about these organizations.   8. The names of government agencies or case workers that you may have dealt with.   9. A list of government benefits your child may receive, as well as copies of any filled-out application forms. (These application forms will help the future caregivers the next time they apply for benefits on behalf of your child; especially since the caregivers may not understand the complexity of these applications.)   10. Other miscellaneous papers, such as tax returns filed for your child, information about housing options, schooling, and photographs of the family.   Bernard A. Krooks, J.D., CPA, LL.M (in taxation), CELA, is a founding partner of the New York law firm Littman Krooks LLP. A nationally noted expert on special needs planning, he is also the president of the Special Needs Alliance (www.specialneedsalliance.org), a national organization dedicated to assisting families with special needs planning and related issues. Call 845-896-1106, or visit www.littmankrooks.com. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=875 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Health Middle School Preschool Special Needs Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=875 Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT Every New Year we come up with resolutions that have a familiar ring: I'm going to lose those 10 (or more) pounds, I'm going to faithfully work out, I'm going to use the dining room table for something other than that stack of mail.   This year, consider resolutions that will have a lifelong impact on your special needs child. While it's often unclear what the future holds for our children, here are a few ideas that you may find helpful:   Take a good, honest look at your child. What do you see now and what do you see down the road? Will your child be able to work? Live alone? Live in a group home? Write down your observations. Consider the type of help will your child need. Financial help? A full or part time caregiver? Special transportation? Who will provide these, and how will they do it? Think about what you can do to prepare for your child's future needs and make a list. Explore what type of benefits your child may be eligible to receive. Many special needs individuals are eligible for various types of state and federal benefits. Do these benefits have specific age and income rules? Are you familiar with them? Review your own legal documents. Are your wills/trusts up to date? If not, now is the time to make the changes. If you have not already done so, decide who will care for your child should something happen to you. Once it's been decided, make sure it is in your legal documents. Last but not least, take a candid look at your own financial picture. Right now, your child is in good hands. You're providing for all of his needs and wants. But if something happens to you, will there be funds available for this to continue? Who will provide these funds? Do you have a Special Needs Trust in place? These are some things that you can work on throughout the year. Take them one at a time and start a checklist or journal, checking off your accomplishments as you go along. Revisit them throughout the year and note any changes. While some of these tasks may appear daunting, once you start completing them, you will rest easier knowing that you are succeeding in planning for your child. To learn which key documents you need to have in place NOW, read this article by Bernard Krooks, JD, CPA, LLM, CELA, founding partner of Littman Krooks LLP. Protected Tomorrows, Inc. is an advocacy firm that enhances the lives of people with special needs through a comprehensive life planning process. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=874 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=874 Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT "Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope" by Nikki Grimes, illustrated by Bryan Collier (2008, Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers) Ages: 3-8 Cost: $16.99   Long ago, a young man searched for courage within himself. He decided to listen to the voices of his ancestors, to get an education, and to hang on to hope. In the book "Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope by Nikki Grimes (illustrated by Bryan Collier), another little boy wonders if he could do that, too.   One evening after school, a boy named David was watching TV and he saw someone he didn't recognize. He asked his mother who it was. "That's Barack Obama," she said. Then she told David a wonderful story.   Once upon a time, she said, there was a boy named Barry whose mama was white as whipped cream and his daddy was black as ink.   Barry, his Mama, and his grandparents lived in Hawaii. There, Barry had friends from many places around the world but nobody gave that a thought. But there was something heavy on Barry's mind. When Barry was a little boy, his Daddy went away and Barry missed him. He always wondered about the man who was his father.   As he grew up, Barry thought about his place in the world. He'd seen poor people in his travels, and he wondered if he could help them someday. He thought about his life and his choices. He looked inside himself for courage and hope. And he studied hard in school. Education was important!   Through his life, Barry (who started using the name he'd been born with, Barack) kept hope in his heart. It was hope that he held when he learned how to be a leader. It was hope that he had when he said he wanted to be our president.   As he listened to the story of Barack Obama, David wondered. Could he do what Barry did? Could David make a difference someday, too?   Kids aren't dumb, as you know. They recognize exactly what's going on in the world, even thought they may not grasp the back story. "Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope", though written months before the November election, explains an historic event in terms that kids can understand.   Author Nikki Grimes says in her back-of-the-book note that "the air crackled with excitement" during the primaries, and she does a great job conveying that emotion here. Illustrator Bryan Collier's colorful drawings also tell the story well, so that even the smallest kids can follow along.   While we mark yet another history-making event, look for "Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope". As a book to read now, this one is perfect for kids ages 3-8. It would also make a great historic keepsake for anyone who holds hope in their heart.   Did you miss last week's review? Check it out here. Is this book available at your local library? Find your library in the Ramapo Catskill Library System or the Mid-Hudson Library System. The Book Worm Sez is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and never leaves home without a book. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=873 Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=873 Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT Lately there's been a lot of talk about our economic future. Parents are tightening their purse strings and sticking closer to home. The economic forecast may be bleak, but there are common sense ways to survive an economic crisis while raising happy children. I've compiled a simple list of ideas for entertaining toddlers & babies on a dime.   Dining out is still doable I still dine out once in awhile with the kids. It's a necessity for me. I've found that children's menus are often affordable, but they include soda, not juice. The restaurants usually charge $2 for juice! I bring my own juice boxes for the kids. In most places, I can order one kids menu item and feed both my one-year-old and two-year old. I also try to feed them off my plate or off a side dish. This technique saves about $10 off the bill.   Get crafty at home We enjoy a multitude of crafts in our home. We'll color anything that doesn't move! There are fantastic websites that offer free coloring pages. The dollar store is also a great resource for coloring books, foam, pom-poms and paper. You can spend less than half of what you would spend in a big box craft store. We also love to use recycled materials for crafts. There are some great websites to give you tons of ideas: Free Coloring Pages, Kaboose, and Free Kids Crafts.   Discover all kinds of local activities We love finding something fun to do. I've found many wonderful things in my own county. Adam's Fairacre Farms in Newburgh has toddler sized shopping carts to entertain small shoppers. While we are shopping, we spend some time in the greenhouse enjoying the koi pond. It's simple, free, and very entertaining.    We also love visiting the local farm. Lawrence Farms in Newburgh has animals and a wonderful children's village. I do like to buy some homemade doughnuts to enjoy in the children's village, since the farmers offer their wonderful land to the public to enjoy for free. In the nicer weather, it is a U-Pick farm as well. The views are breathtaking, the animals are healthy, and the children's village provides hours of fun.   The local library is often a very under-utilized resource in our towns. Libraries have wonderful books, newly released movies, and often great children's areas. My local library has toys for the kids and crafts on the tables. Most local libraries offer free reading programs during the week too! To find your local library, visit the Ramapo Catskill Library System or Mid-Hudson Library System websites.   Make staying home fun! Staying home doesn't have to mean "doing nothing." Keep old toys exciting by packing them away while the kids play with other toys. Occasionally rotate the toys to keep them new and exciting.   Organize play dates with other children at their homes. There's nothing more exciting than a new house filled with different toys.   Create forts with cushions and blankets for a new place to play and hide. Take lunch out of the kitchen and into a picnic somewhere in the house or the yard. Explore that old CD collection, or your i-Pod to discover what kind of music your child enjoys. We spend hours dancing and singing in our house.   Make chores fun by filling a spray bottle with water so your toddler can "dust" with you. I enjoy my two little helpers when it comes to chores! Laundry baskets are fun for riding and climbing.              Get back to nature Children delight in the things we often take for granted. My daughter finds rocks of all shapes and sizes fascinating. She even loves broken pieces of concrete! Kids love exploring the natural world. Go on a nature hike at a local park or in your own yard. You'd be surprised at all the things there are to collect outside. Sticks, rocks, leaves, acorns, pinecones and flowers are very entertaining for little people. Observing an animal or insect is fun too. Don't forget to look up to observe the clouds and the weather.  Having fun doesn't have to equal spending money. WIth a little thought, research and creativity, you'll be sure to have fun and save money! Jennifer Wiegert is a freelance writer and mother of two living in the Hudson Valley. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=872 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=872 Sat, 03 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT Long-term relationships for teens - they can be fairly difficult and tricky to navigate through for parents. How close is too close? How much space is dangerous? Here are the top 10 lessons I've learned from my sons, each having relationships that lasted more than a year.   10. Maintain a cordial relationship with the boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents. However, it may be best to not socialize and begin a friendship outside of the one your children have because after the breakup, you probably cannot keep the adults as friends.    9. While relying on your child's cell phone as a method to stay in touch is certainly reasonable, it does not hurt to have the house phone number to any friend's house, especially their boyfriend or girlfriend. Cell phone batteries die, plans change, and you simply want to have a way to stay in touch.   8. As the calendar pages turn, holidays and birthdays will surely arise. It is appropriate to purchase a small gift for your child's friend in the same manner you would if your child had a same sex best friend. In return, if you receive a gift, ask yourself if it makes you feel uncomfortable or inappropriate to accept.   7. Always make sure your child has enough money to cover his own expenses on a "date." Though your child may be an invited guest to the movies, an amusement park, bowling or other teen activity, it is best if they pay their own way to avoid any misunderstandings, hurt feelings or feelings of indebtedness.   6. If neither child is a driver, each set of parents should agree to share driving responsibilities. If one parent drives to an event, the other may pick up; or, if one parent drives this Friday night, the other should drive next Saturday night or whatever other equitable arrangement can be made in advance. Sharing as many responsibilities as possible will help avoid any potential hurt feelings or problems in the future.   5. Although you may enjoy your child's friend's company, maintain a friendly but reasonably detached relationship. This is a difficult balance to find; if you become too aloof your child will think you do not like their friend, and if you ask too many questions you may be considered a nosy and prying parent rather than simply concerned. I've been here and it is the hardest medium to achieve; in fact, you may have to make daily adjustments.   4. Welcoming your child's friend into your home for family holidays and celebrations is encouraged as well as allowing your child to participate in such activities outside of your home. The ultimate goal is to allow both children to grow from the experiences they have while maintaining family harmony. However, this does not mean that either child should not participate in their own family activities in exchange for their boyfriend or girlfriend's family plans. Use your best judgment.   3. Avoid answering opinion questions to your child. I have been asked, "What do you think of Sally?" This is a moment to pause and think carefully. My favorite response is, "Are you happy?" It may not be correct to answer a question with a question, but unless you have a safety concern about the relationship, it is better to avoid giving your actual thoughts when your child is probably looking for approval.   2. This may sound hard or cold, but when taking pictures at family events, ensure that you have some of your family without your child's friends as well as including them. It would be a shame to have the only pictures of a landmark occasion be painful for your child even in an age of digital photo editing. My own mother replaced a face in a favorite family photo with that of a celebrity until she finally surrendered that the picture was inappropriate (though funny).   1. Simply remember, this is your child's relationship, not your own. I do still struggle with this one. At times, I want to offer advice or thoughts, and though I may still do so now and then, it is best to avoid this situation. I try to imagine if I am acting like a mother-in-law that I would resent; if I am leaning in that direction, I try to step back. Again, if safety is a concern such as substance abuse, physical or verbal abuse, or other extenuating circumstances, that is a completely different topic. Overall, it is best to trust your child's judgment, sit back and watch them grow. Sharon MacGregor is a freelance writer and columnist living in Sullivan County. She and her husband have been married for more than 20 years and are raising two man-cubs with both old-fashioned and modern parenting styles. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=871 Family Middle School Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=871 Sat, 03 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT Is your child or your child's friend being bullied? If you need more information on how to stop bullying at your child's school or neighborhood, these resources can help: National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center - www.safeyouth.org Stop Bullying Now - www.stopbullyingnow.com Wired Kids - www.wiredkids.org Net Bullies - www.netbullies.com Fight Crime: Invest in Kids - www.fightcrime.org/ny/index.php The Safe Child - www.safechild.org http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=868 Ask Dr. Schwartz Education Elementary School Middle School Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=868 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT There is an ongoing debate over whether certain foods can aggravate symptoms of ADHD. Some experts advise keep your shopping cart and refrigerators loaded up with the following foods: green, leafy vegetables  proteins, such as lean red meats and poultry unrefined sugars, such as Stevia, barley malt, agave, date sugar and rice syrup whole grains organic and homogenized dairy, goat's milk soy products such as tofu and tempeh supplements including vitamin B complex, calcium and magnesium In contrast, there are certain foods and other chemicals that should be restricted or avoided, if possible. These include: sugar, cheese, additives, hydrogenated oils, citrus, wheat, caffeine, salt, most candy, potato chips and other junk foods, artificial flavoring, coloring and artificial sweeteners like aspartame. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=867 Babies and Toddlers Education Elementary School Family Health Middle School Preschool Special Needs Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=867 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT It's no secret that there's plenty of fun to be found in the Hudson Valley this winter. But if you feel like staying at home instead, here are a few ideas to keep your kids entertained:  Set up a board game. Interactive games will keep your kids entertained, while teaching them math, verbal and social skills!n  Make a puppet show. Gather some old socks, buttons, and yarn and help your child cut, paste and sew the silliest puppets. Or use popsicle sticks and construction paper to make people or animals. Create a new storyline, or have the puppets act out a favorite - such as Little Red Riding Hood or The Three Little Pigs. Children love dressing up, and they also love dancing and singing. Let them dress up however they want (maybe in a pretty dress, or as one of their favorite characters), put on some music, and dance! Play dress-up hot potato. Gather a bunch of different clothes on a bag, such as scarves, hats, vests or mittens, and have the kids toss it back and forth to their favorite music. Whoever has the most (or the funniest) clothing when the bag is empty, wins! http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=866 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=866 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT When the kids are climbing the walls, you know it's time to get out of the house. But when it's too cold to play outside, you may think your options are limited. Don't worry, there's a lot going on in the Hudson Valley during the winter months to keep kids active and entertained. We've got the best ideas for fun, safe places for kids to explore, burn some energy, and learn without having to bundle up! Burn off all that energy with indoor sports Don't let the kids hibernate all winter in front of the television or computer screen. Skating, climbing, jumping and bowling are just a few ways to get kids moving. If your kids aren't regular skaters, look for facilities that offer open public skating times. Ice Time Sports Complex in Newburgh has open skating on certain days for ages 3 and up. In fact, open skating for kids ages 5 and under is free on Tuesdays & Thursdays 11am-1pm, Fridays 7:15-9pm, and weekends 2-3:45pm. On the other side of the river in Poughkeepsie, the NHL-sized rink at McCann Ice Arena is open for skating, but you'll have to check www.midhudsonciviccenter.com for dates and times. In the mood for a swim? Check out the programs at your local YMCA or YWCA. Some of the larger high schools also have swimming programs for local kids and adults in the community. This might be a great time to start swimming lessons! Maybe your kids are ready to climb the walls - literally. Why not go to a place where they can do it safely? The Inner Wall in New Paltz is a fun place for kids to stretch and maneuver up indoor rock climbing walls. Rock climbing is great for building coordination and balance. For the younger set, there's nothing more fun than just letting loose jumping and tumbling. Jumpin Jakes in Fishkill features several inflatable play structures that give kids an opportunity to climb walls, crawl through obstacles, bounce, and zoom down giant slides. "The kids love to come in and bounce around," says owner Jake Cascioli. "There's even an interactive, 10 feet by 10 feet light floor with a program called 'Bug Invasion' where they can run around and pretend to jump on bugs." There's a whole lot of jumping and tumbling going on in Ulster County, too, at The Little Gym in Kingston. Led by trained instructors, toddlers can jump and tumble their way to increased balance, motor and social skills through movement, music, gymnastics and games. Look for other locations in East Fishkill, Middletown and New Windsor. Many local gyms  and YMCAs also offer toddler or mommy and me programs where you can share special time with your child, while you both stay fit and have fun. Remember how much fun you had bowling when you were a kid? Plan a family night out at your local bowling alley. You'll keep warm indoors, and your children will love playing a game (or two or three) with you! Take some time out to teach them how the game is scored, and for the little ones ask for "bumpers" so they won't get discouraged. Call ahead to make sure there are open lanes; some alleys even offer special rates for kids. Indoor learning experiences The Hudson Valley is full of educational and interactive museums, libraries and discovery centers. Keep your children's young minds turning even on the weekends with a trip to your local library or a nearby museum. They'll learn about local history, ecology, geography, and science, and you might even learn a thing or two as well!  In Poughkeepsie, the Mid-Hudson Children's Museum is a unique interactive museum created just for young kids! Hands-on exhibits and regular monthly programs teach kids about energy, science, history and ecology while having a blast! For programs, visit our calendar. The Interactive Museum in Middletown also features weekly activities for kids including make-and-take crafts. Just remember the museum is only open on weekends. Are your kids interested in animals? In addition to their nature programs, the Hudson Highlands Nature Museum in Cornwall has a special "Meet the Animals" program for kids every Saturday and Sunday at 2:30pm at The Wildlife Education Center. "The kids love it," says Marian Goldin, the museum's marketing associate. "If you're home with the little ones on the weekend with nothing to do, sign up to be a member, then admission is free!" Encourage your children's enthusiasm for science and technology, or any other subject, long after you leave the museum by visiting your local library. Libraries in the Mid-Hudson Library System (Dutchess and Ulster counties) and Ramapo Catskill Library System (Orange, Sullivan and Ulster counties) offer free year-round reading and craft programs (and so much more) for all ages, from infants to teen to adults. With aisles and aisles of books, magazines and audio tapes, libraries are the perfect place to develop your child's imagination, curiosity for knowledge and love of readings and learning. You'll find many local library programs in the Hudson Valley Parent calendar. Feel like staying home instead? We've got some fun indoor ideas too! Coleen McDonald is a student at Mount Saint Mary College in Newburgh. She will be graduating in May 2009 with a bachelor's degree in journalism. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=865 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=865 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT It's the most commonly diagnosed childhood behavioral disorder in the United States. Causing fidgeting, excessive talking, a lack of organization and overall focus, it has thousands of parents, teachers, counselors and even nutritionists, confused and searching for answers. What is this puzzling condition? It's Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, more commonly referred to as ADHD. For years, the "fixes" for this increasingly prevalent condition have caused controversy. Some claim only medication can effectively treat ADHD, while others maintain strict behavioral modification is the way to go. Most recently, a growing population is convinced there is a definite link between certain foods and the onset of ADHD. So who is right? Jeffrey Roosa, LCWSR and director of Roosa Counseling Services in Middletown and Rock Hill, says that while he fails to see a direct nutritional link, he doesn't disclaim an indirect one."Other organic conditions are connected to food and could affect ADHD," says Roosa, author of The ADHD Kid. "I think the best way to see improvement is to get the child involved in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, working through social skills such as limits, boundaries, working with others, and other core skills; parents should also be included in the process." Sarah Spoerri doesn't think so. A registered nurse in Liberty whose three adult children were all diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder in childhood, Spoerri refutes Roosa's dismissal of the role nutrition plays in ADHD. Seeing diet's profound effect on her children firsthand, Spoerri is convinced of the vital connection sugar, along with certain other foods, have on ADHD. "With my oldest son, our pediatrician at the time encouraged me to never give him dairy products, saying a cow's milk should be saved for cow's babies. He also encouraged me to look for vegetable sources of calcium, such as green, leafy vegetables," recalls Spoerri, who saw drastic improvements in all three of her sons' behaviors with diet adjustments. "And of course, the greatest, and easiest to control, culprit is sugar. Almost every food has it or turns into it." So, what foods should parents try to get their ADHD child to eat more of, and which should be limited? Foods full of essential fatty acids, omega-3s, top the list. These include fish, nuts and flax seed, which can be added to a variety of foods. Omega-3s help supply the brain with more Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA), which helps boost focus, memory and learning. When unnecessary "bad" fats dominate, problems in the ADHD child are sure to follow, according to Washingtonville certified holistic health counselor Nikki Bottos. "Eating poor quality red meats can produce an excess of the hormone prostaglandins . which can usually make a child more aggressive or emotionally stressed," notes Bottos, a nurse for 10 years prior to specializing in holistic health. In fact, an Oxford University study looked at the effects of fatty acid supplementation in average intelligence children who had reading and writing problems. The ADHD symptoms in kids who received these necessary fatty acids improved over those who did not. Bottos, who says she has seen amazing results adjusting the diets of children with ADHD for the past two years, sums up the basic guidelines for their nutritional plan. "An optimal diet for a child with ADHD consists of a whole food vegetarian selection, including unrefined foods, no sugars, fruits, vegetables, organic dairy and meats," she explains. OK, so what about medicine? Spoerri, who works in the medical field, worries about many of the drug-dominated approaches to "curing" ADHD, in particular Ritalin. "It scares me that we are legally addicting our young with Ritalin," says Spoerri, who has worked with clients who have addictions for the past 14 years. "Oftentimes, these medicines are just a quick-fix, which can help curb ADHD, but not cure it. In fact, they can make it worse by creating weight loss, aggression and drowsiness." Faced with the growing controversy over ADHD medications, many parents are pursuing nutrition as an option to help solve this ADHD puzzle. Once a parent has considered the nutrition path for an ADHD child, several topics need to be considered. First, parents need to determine if nutrition and food are to be used as an alternative medicine or in conjunction with traditional ADHD stimulant drug treatment. One way is to pursue the Elimination Diet, which involves taking out various foods from the child's diet and seeing the effect on the child's behavior. If a special diet is decided upon, it is crucial that it not be followed in such a strict manner that it creates even more stress. When parents are too obsessive about nutrition, the child can become resentful and defiant. Focus on one goal at a time. For instance, a parent might want to decrease sugar or increase protein intake, determining the effect each has on the child. Be patient. Bottos points out that a dietary change takes longer for the body to recognize than a chemical one, such as medicine. As a result, it could take as long as 6-8 weeks to see changes in behavior from an adjusted diet. Bottos suggests if a child is already on medication, introduce the dietary alterations but consult with the child's doctor about any dosage changes. To change your child's diet or not? Despite the population of medical naysayers pointing to the lack of definitive medical research when it comes to nutrition and ADHD, for many on the other side of the fence, the proof is in the results. City of Newburgh chiropractor John Fischer has dealt with many ADHD children over the years. His answer does not lie in therapy, nor does it involve any medicine. Only one variable truly matters. "I have seen incredible results with ADHD children once I have changed the way they eat, having them follow the Zone Diet, a plan that involves fish oil, along with an array of 'good fat' fish and chiefly whole grain food selection, with reduced sugar, starches, processed food and anything containing additives, as well as a high intake of fresh fruits and vegetables," says Fisher, a certified nutrition expert. "Parents just need to remember children cannot do it alone. Temptations are everywhere, but once that child learns what to do and experiences how good he or she can feel and the success that can be achieved in school and life, that kid will never want to go back to eating any other way." Jennifer Warren is a freelance writer living in Orange County. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=864 Babies and Toddlers Family Health Middle School Preschool Special Needs Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=864 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Is your little one ready for school? If your child can do the following, chances are he is ready.  Can wash hands, blow nose, brush teeth, use utensils to eat, cup to drink, get dressed and fasten closures like buttons and zippers. Can put away jacket, hat; can put papers on teacher's desk. Is careful around potentially dangerous objects like scissors or a parking lot. Can follow basic health and safety routines like a fire drill; knows first and last name and other identification, such as address. Can identify himself (i.e. boy, son, friend). Responds to and makes greetings; responds to teacher's directions; responds to adult approval/disapproval (e.g. holding an adult's hand when crossing the street). Seeks help when needed; accepts responsibility for age-appropriate tasks; follows familiar rules and routines. Takes turns when in a group; is able to sit calmly, listen, and work with other children; can move from one task to another on request. Attempts to solve problems independently and can focus on a task to completion. Tells another child when he is bothered (e.g. "Stop pushing me.") Establishes relationships with peers, shows respect to others, cooperates and shares with others, and adapts to new people and situations. Shows sensitivity to others' feelings and offers help to a peer who appears in need. Displays a wide array of feelings. Participates in music activities like singing, games, and performances. Uses complex sentences and asks questions like "who," "what," and "why." Uses eye contact, facial expressions, and gestures when communicating with others. Retells a simple story after hearing it; uses pictures to predict what will occur next in a story; invents his/her own stories. Counts in sequence. Has an understanding of time (e.g. sleep at night, eat breakfast in the morning). Can match items and create patterns. Demonstrates ability to use writing, painting, and coloring instruments as well as scissors and other tools and various types of technology. Performs fine motor skills, demonstrates balance and control, and can safely negotiate uneven surfaces such as stairs. Source: New York State Education Department http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=863 Babies and Toddlers Education Elementary School Family Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=863 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Evan will be five in November and has completed one year of preschool. He can write his name, knows most of the alphabet and can count to 10. But, he has trouble identifying shapes and colors, and hits other kids when he gets angry. Is Evan ready for kindergarten? The answer may not be clear cut. It's a question many parents struggle to answer - especially those who don't send their child to preschool and have no real measurement for his or her readiness. Kindergarten, for many, is the first year of formal schooling and the start of an academic career. So, before sending them off on the school bus, parents should consider if starting school is the best option for their child. A child who's picking out backpacks and school supplies in June might be telling you in no subtle way that it's time for school. One who doesn't have fine motor skills or doesn't use words to communicate just might be saying she needs more time to prepare. For a child with no preschool experience, school readiness "depends on how much the parents do with the chidren at home," says Eva Ramos, director of Prime Time Early Learning Center in Middletown. "Even if they're home with mom and dad or a sibling, they don't get the interaction with peers. Kids in preschool are aware of what will be expected of them in kindergarten." Educators say attending preschool is the first choice, but it's not critical for success in kindergarten. "It's just not possible for everyone to go. So, we love for them to be socially prepared," says Tara Hollifield, a kindergarten teacher at Highland Elementary School. Social skills can be learned in other settings besides preschool, says Laurie Lochner, who also teaches kindergarten at Highland Elementary. Social gatherings, play groups, music classes, story times, and gym classes "all help teach kids how to take turns, how to get along, and how to share," adds Lochner. Jennifer Goodwin of Mount Marion, says her kids never went to preschool and all four have been outstanding students. "I always got them out for playgroups with other kids and we participated in every reading program we could at our library or other places," she says. "At home I taught early reading skills, identifying letters and numbers. I felt it was my responsibility to get them ready for school." Kindergarten is about more than academics, experts say. Teachers aren't expecting children to walk in the first day knowing how to read, write, add, and subtract. But, they will check to see if a child can identify colors and shapes, recognize some numbers and upper and lower-case letters, participate in group activities, and begin to show independence, among other things, say Margaret Latino and Jean Rauschenbach, both kindergarten teachers at Vassar Road Elementary School in Poughkeepsie. A child with a birthday close to the kindergarten cutoff date of December 1 may benefit from waiting until the next school year. If he's the youngest, it might not mean so much now, but it might make a difference during the 13 years he'll spend with these kids. Being older usually means having more experience and being more mature - both physically and emotionally. Parents may worry that peers will pick on the boy who is the youngest and smallest in the class or the girl who is tall and bigger than the other students. A child could catch up to the older students, but when? Educators say each child is different. "It's always more beneficial to keep a child back earlier than to try to fix the problem in second or third grade. The earlier you do it, the better," says Ramos. "Not being ready can lead to frustration - if they can't keep up - and a lack of self esteem." A child who isn't ready for school can also require more attention from the teacher, which throws off the pace of the entire class, says Rauschenbach. Preschool is a great way to prepare kids for kindergarten and also helps them deal with separation anxiety and work on social interaction, including sharing, listening, cooperative learning and following directions, she adds. For those who choose not to send their child to preschool, "it is especially important to involve the child in playgroups [where they] will be exposed to some of the benefits of attending preschool," says Latino. "The parents can work on the academic and social readiness skills at home." Read with your children, says Hollifield. Expose them to the alphabet, numbers, shapes, and playing games. Let them use clay, practice cutting and drawing. "We don't expect kids to have already mastered everything," she adds. "That's why they come to school. They can have fun while they're learning. Most times, if they're playing and having fun, they don't even realize they're learning." Parents can contact your local school district to set up an assessment by a kindergarten teacher. Find out what teachers look for here. This is a good way to find out where your child is in relation to his or her peers. Parents can work on language skills by talking, reading and singing with their children. They can also give them directions to follow to strengthen listening skills. Count and identify objects in your enviroment. "These steps all lead to a child becoming ready for kindergarten," says Latino. In the end, no one knows your child better than you, so you should feel comfortable making the decision. Liz Consavage Vilato is a freelance writer living in Dutchess County. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=862 Babies and Toddlers Education Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=862 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Studies show that kids are spending too much time in front of computer and television screens. It's up to parents to monitor their children's viewing habits and enforce limits. If you're concerned about weaning your kids from too much screen time, try these suggestions: Sign kids up for a class, workshop or other regularly scheduled activity. Have regular activities for them to look forward to, such as Family Game Night once per week. Take your kids to the local school running track and time them while they race. Get a pet. Caring for a pet or feeding wild birds are great ways  for a child to feel useful and constructive. Let them choose a recipe and help you make it. Volunteer in your community to make a difference. Limits on TV time can make a difference too Limit the number of screen hours, whether on a daily basis or limiting screen time to weekends only. Come up with a family schedule for screen-time. Keep screens out of bedrooms. Turn off the TV during meals. No "multi-tasking," such as watching TV while doing homework.  Make screen time a privilege to be earned; for example, TV is allowed only after chores and homework are completed. Set a good example by limiting your own screen time in the presence of the kids. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=861 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=861 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, a non-profit foundation focusing on health policy and communications, did a study that found that children ages six and under spend an average of two hours per day using screen media - about the same amount of time they spend playing outside, and which far surpassed the time they spend reading or being read to (just 39 minutes a day). The study also found that nearly half of children ages six and under have used a computer, and that just under a third have played video games. If you're concerned about your child getting too much time in front of a computer or TV screen, click here to learn what you can do to get your kids moving now. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=860 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=860 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Traditional images of childhood often include Norman Rockwell-like depictions of a rosy-cheeked child playing leap-frog outdoors, or dutifully practicing scales on the piano. But images of a typical 21st-century childhood will likely include a kid sitting on a low chair in front of a video screen, joystick in hand. Recent studies show that kids are spending too much time in front of a computer or television screen. While it can be constructive for parents to familiarize their children with the benefits of modern technology, since even young children are able to navigate their way around a computer, where does Mom or Dad draw the line? How do you know if your child getting is too much screen time? You don't want your kid to be a couch potato, but the reality is that technology is an ever-increasing part of our lives. The business world uses pen and paper less and less, and most schools use computers in their curriculum, starting in the early elementary grades. It's even following us into unexpected places: The August 2008 issue of American Libraries magazine featured an article on gaming in libraries, revealing that 77 percent of libraries contacted for the article's study actually support video and computer games. They claim that such gaming can increase opportunities for interaction among different generations as more people are brought into the library.  "There are many advantages to computers and gaming at the library. Kids today are growing up in a world where computers are and will continue to be a major part of their lives," says Maureen McGrath, programming and outreach coordinator at the Julia L. Butterfield Library in Cold Spring. McGrath says that the challenge is for children to use them in a positive way. "You can play chess and many other games that enhance mathematical thinking and problem solving skills. There are wonderful games that help children to learn letters, numbers and early reading skills." However, McGrath points out, "Young children should have limits set on the amount of time they spend on a computer. Active play with other children is, of course, vital to their development and well-being." The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) also stresses the importance of limit-setting by parents. They recommend that children under age two not watch any television and that those older than two years watch no more than one to two hours per day of quality TV and videos. Why such limits? Christian Hietanen, MD a pediatrician with TLC Pediatrics in Fishkill, says, "Children may be the most vulnerable between birth and school age to certain negative side effects of media use, such as obesity, aggression, fear, and sleep disturbances." Kingston mother of two Linda Simmons says keeping young kids away from television isn't as easy as it sounds. "Before I had kids I swore I'd never let them watch TV," she says. "But there were times when I'd need to get work done around the house and putting on a video seemed the easiest way to keep my daughters occupied." Studies have indicated that children who consistently spend more than four hours per day watching TV are more likely to be overweight. "There is definitely a relationship between television use and obesity," Dr. Hietanen points out. "Watching TV is a passive experience. It offers no opportunity for social play, interaction and sensory stimulation." Simmons says that while she allows some TV watching in her home for her young children, she places strict limits on that time. "Usually I put on a video just in the morning so I can get things done, then in the afternoon I get the kids outside to run around for some physical activity. I really try not to rely on TV as a babysitter, since my daughters are only two and four." There is also the concern that as some TV and video-game characters depict risky behaviors, kids who view violent acts are more likely to show aggressive behavior. Kaveri Subrahmanyam, psychologist and advisor of the Children's Digital Media Center research organization, says, "Research does suggest that aggressive content is related to aggressive behavior and thoughts." She explains that time limits suggested by the AAP are reasonable, especially during elementary school years. "But more than time," says Dr. Kaveri, "computers should be in public spaces such as a den, and parents should talk to young children about safe surfing - not talking to strangers, being truthful and careful about what you believe, and not giving others personal information." Parents play an important role in getting kids unhooked from electronics by modeling the type of screen time habits they desire their children to adopt. Going straight to the computer or flicking on the television as soon as we get home sends the message that these things are a priority. They may also want to find out what sort of viewing habits their children's friends may exhibit around their children; when the child goes on playdates, will he be sitting in front of the television for two hours, or will he be actively playing? Wondering how to replace tube time with family time, without a lot of tears? Click here. You'll also find some fun ways to get kids away from the tube this winter here. While there is no way to avoid the technology that surrounds us, a balance can be struck. Just as a parent can monitor the quality of what their children see on television and computer screens, they can also monitor the quantity of time spent. Informative and educational programs and games can be chosen, and most of all, time limits appropriate for your family can be set. With guidance and consistency from their parents, kids can reap the benefits of technology and still have time to play leapfrog outdoors! Rani AldenLong is a mother of one living in Cold Spring. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=859 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=859 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Fairy shirts by Sticky Pixies These fun shirts have a fairy on the front wearing a removable-Velcro dress. You can buy different fairy dresses, so the fairy on the shirt can wear a different dress every time the girl wears her fairy shirt. Also popular are Bee Posh fleece hats ($18), scarves ($18), mittens ($17) in different colors and designs for infants and kids. Cost: $36 (Velcro fairy dresses $13) Ages: 4-8 Quackles, A Baby and Children's Boutique Locations at 1083 Rte. 9, Fishkill and 44 Raymond Ave., Poughkeepsie. 845-471-2250. www.quackles.com Boots for toddlers by Ugg These comfy, cozy boots are great for winter days. Also popular for winter are Spyder boots for infants and kids, at $40 and up. Hudson Valley Footwear also offers Merrell sport-casual shoes ($40-$70) and Keen shoes ($40-70) for infants and toddlers. Cost: $90-$120 Hudson Valley Footwear, 3 East Market St., Rhinebeck. 845-876-4881. www.hudsonvalleyshoes.com Wool sweaters by Llamajama These sweaters, which come in a variety of colors and designs, are made from llama wool, the softest wool available. They are super warm and water repellent. Also popular are organic clothing by local designers, as well as other organic and eco-friendly products such as Sigg bottles and Ervaviva, an organic skin care line for babies and moms. Cost: $38-$60 Sizes: up to 4 Little Ones, 27 North Chestnut St., New Paltz. 845-255-0377. www.llamajama.com Fleece swing coat by Mack & Co. This soft pink coat is not only cute, it's easy to wash and dry! Also popular is the Le Top plush velvet cropped jacket with teal fur cuffs and teal fur collar. It comes in a set with teal pants, with pockets embellished with jewels and a silvery-teal shirt with matching design. The set is $110, but the jacket can be purchased separately for $60. Ages: 12mos. to 7yrs. Cost: $42 (matching baker's style hat $16) Madison Avenue Fine Children's Clothing, 246 Main St., Cornwall. 845-534-7522. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=858 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Middle School The Marketplace http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=858 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT In most adolescent movies bullying is often portrayed as somewhat benign or even comical for both the bully and the victim. Most bullies are big, goofy, "clueless" guys picking on the new kid or the "nerdy" kid, and by film's end they either become good friends, the bully gets embarrassed in front of the student body, or the victim gets revenge - but not too violently. The victim also gets the beautiful, unapproachable but compassionate cheerleader who was the victim's only friend. While these movies may be fun to watch, they are far from reality. Bullying is a repeated and often systematic negative act or acts committed by one child or a group of children against another. Most children can easily absorb one instance of excessive teasing or bullying, but it is the relentless nature of most bullying that makes it so potentially dangerous. Bullying can take form as physical violence, verbal assaults, taunting, name calling or teasing, or the newest form - cyberbullying. Cyberbullying might be sending mean-spirited text messages or e-mails, posting nasty pictures of someone or spreading rumors on blogs or websites. Bullies may also extort or steal money, destroy property or elicit someone else to bully the victim. Bullying can also be indirect - like trying to manipulate friend-ships or systematically excluding a child or adolescent from an activity or a group. Although bullying takes many forms, there is always one common factor in the bully/victim dynamic: an imbalance of power. Children and adolescents who are bigger, stronger and more aggressive usually pick on children who are smaller and weaker. These "victims" are often shy or lacking friends or other means of social support; they are not assertive or retaliatory in any manner. Often victims of bullies are the new kids in school, the underclassmen, cultural minorities and children who are 'different'. Why some children become bullies Most "physical" bullies are male. Girls are less inclined to use physical or direct means to bully other girls; they often use more subtle or indirect means, like manipulation of cliques or group membership, social ostracism or gossiping. This ostracism can be more devastating emotionally than the more direct physical or extortion tactics that males use. Girls are also more involved in the growing area of cyberbullying. Bullies are frequently impulsive and show little empathy, even enjoying the pain inflicted upon his victims. There is research indicating that bullies behave in the way they do due to feelings of insecurity or poor self-esteem. By humiliating and terrorizing others the bully can demonstrate personal adequacy and elevate his status with his peer group; he achieves an identity he might not be able to attain elsewhere. Although bullies come from all family environments, they more often come from homes where little attention is paid to them, parental discipline is usually harsh, and there is poor supervision of him in school activities. Many times the bully is only acting out what he sees and experiences at home. There is a significant relationship between violence between parents or their children and aggressive behavior in childhood. What can parents do? If you are aware of bullying by your child or victimization of your child, it is important to intervene - as a parent, do not take the stance that this will go away if ignored. For many childhood bullies, their behavior may be part of a more general antisocial pattern, putting them more at risk for later criminal behavior. Bullied children may develop social phobia and may want to avoid going to school or riding the bus. Victims suffer a significant loss of self-esteem, they feel loneliness and isolation, and lose interest in school. Some adolescents who are bullied drop out of school as a means of avoiding the pain and humiliation caused by bullying. Others become so fearful and depressed that they attempt or commit suicide. Long-term studies of victims show that the "victim" role stays with them throughout adult life, at work and even in relationship. They are more prone to depression and low self-esteem as adults. Signs that your child is being bullied Many victims of bullying are ashamed, embarrassed or too frightened to tell an adult that they are being bullied, so it is important for parents to be aware of the most common signs of a child being bullied. They are: School avoidance - Child develops "I've got a stomach ache" syndrome. School phobia, truancies or complaints of vague somatic in order to stay home are common. Depression - Child experiences changes in sleeping, eating or social activity. Losing weight or being hungrier than usual after school - Some children, whose lunch or lunch money is extorted, don't eat, and are too embarrassed to report the event to parents or school personnel. "Lost" items - Items may be taken from the child or paid as a bribe to stop some form of punishment. Lack of communication - The child might be quick to answer "nothing" when questioned about what's wrong. Intervening as a parent of a bullied child can be a challenging task. While you want to convey empathy and support for your child, you also want to let him know you have confidence in his ability to handle the situation. A parent can't simply rush in and rescue the child, without considering peer reactions and how direct intervention from a parent can often make matters worse for the child being bullied. Evaluate at-home behaviors Certain interpersonal behavior taught by parents might also need to be reevaluated. We often tell our children not to "tattle". However, in this situation both children need external intervention to work it out. This is especially true when one child is too frightened or embarrassed to let the situation be known. Parents also have to rethink telling a child to hit back or retaliate as an effective strategy. Many schools have a zero-tolerance policy for any type of fighting, and this may result in punishment or suspension for your child even though he had a reason to fight. It's important for a parent to help a child feel that he is in control of how to handle the situation. Try not to negate the child's contribution by dismissing his analysis of the situation or suggestions for resolution. Try to help the child explore all possible solutions, stressing the importance of involving the child's teacher, other school personnel and possibly the bully's parents. Help the child to evaluate the pros and cons of all approaches that ends the bullying. Above all, help the child choose a solution, and if possible choose the one that maximizes the child's role - for example, being assertive but not aggressive - and a solution that minimizes your direct involvement. This type of problem solving will increase your child's confidence and decrease the chances that your child will become a continuous target of bullying. If you're unsure of how to handle the situation, there are helpful websites and organizations that can offer tips. No matter which strategy is selected, awareness and involvement of all parties - including the child being bullied, the bully, the parents of both children, and the school - must be incorporated. It is critical that something be done to interrupt the cycle of violence or abuse befalling some children who experience years of schooling in a state of fear and anxiety. As adults we are fully aware how dangerous and frightening a place the world can be; children, however, need to be made to feel safe. Paul Schwartz, Ph.D., is Professor of Psychology and Education at Mount Saint Mary College in Newburgh. He is available for group speaking engagements. He can be reached at editor@excitingread.com. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=857 Ask Dr. Schwartz Education Family Middle School Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=857 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Some kids have a hard time adjusting to the arrival of a new sibling. To help your kids get ready for the new arrival, "Sibling Relationships", a brochure published by the American Academy of Pediatrics (2007), offers the following tips: Ages 1 to 2: Look at picture books about a new baby. Do something special to reassure her she is still loved (i.e. a special gift or outing). Ages 2 to 4: Involve your preschooler in planning for the baby. Prepare your child for when you are in the hospital. Set aside special time (read, play games, listen to music, etc.) Ask family and friends to spend time with your older child. School age and older: Have your older child help to get things ready for the  new baby. Once the baby is home, be sure your older child knows he has a role to play. Don't overlook your older child's needs and activities. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=856 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=856 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Are you expecting a new baby? If your other children aren't ready yet, there's hope. More and more hospitals are offering sibling preparation classes. Call your hospital's maternity ward to see if this type of class is offered. Kingston Hospital, Kingston - Classes scheduled on as-needed basis. Free. 845-334-2700, ext. 2241. www.kingstonregionalhealth.org Vassar Brothers Medical Center, Poughkeepsie - Prepares children for birth of a sibling and familiarizes them with hospital setting. Geared toward two age groups: ages 3-5 and 6-10. Fees: $15 per child; $20 for two; $25 for three children. 877-729-2444. www.vassarbrothers.org Northern Dutchess Hospital, Rhinebeck - Helps prepare children for the birth of a sibling. Fees: $20 for a family of 1 or 2 children, $5 each additional child. Registration forms due the 15th of preceding month of class choice. 845-871-3355. www.northerndutchesshospital.org St. Anthony's Hospital, Warwick - Provides an introduction to the hospital and encourages a positive parent-child experience for when the new baby arrives. Recommended for ages 2-10. 845-987-5300. www.stanthonycommunityhosp.org Orange Regional Medical Center, Middletown - Includes tour of the maternity ward. Held first Saturday every other month. Next class is Feb. 7, 2009. 888-321-ORMC. www.ormc.org http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=855 Babies and Toddlers Education Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=855 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT Is your little one having mixed feelings about his new brother or sister being born because he won't be the "baby" anymore? Are you worried about how he will react once his sibling actually arrives? Maybe your preteen is concerned that you will no longer have time to trek her around to activities. When kids feel part of the equation, they are apt to handle this change in the family dynamic quite well - no matter what their age may be. Breaking the news to toddlers and young children It is important to let even young children participate in the prenatal experience, although you might want to wait a bit before sharing the news with them. "We waited to announce the news until as late as possible because they were so young and didn't have a concept of time," says Nancy Tsoubris, LCSWR, a Rhinebeck mother of three and a clinical social worker. "I think I told my son when I was about six months pregnant. With my third baby, I told the kids a little earlier because they were more aware of the conversations going on around them and the size of my belly." It can also be helpful to familiarize your child with babies. Allow your child to help pick out items for the baby's arrival or possible names for the new sibling. "Make it exciting! Focus on how she will be a big sister. Let her help with getting things ready," suggests Michelle Boye, a Woodstock mother of three girls, ages 5, 3 and 6 months. Boye also suggests that you allow your children to help get the nursery, changing area, and clothing ready for the baby. This helps them feel included and less likely to be jealous of the baby once he arrives. "Remind her that she was once a baby and what she did at that age," she says. "While pregnant with both my second and third child, I gave my children dolls which they often carried under their shirts," adds Tsoubris. "I also brought them to a late term doctor's appointment so they could hear the baby's heart beating." Children often find touching their mother's stomach during fetal movement to be a delightful game. "They loved feeling the baby move," Tsoubris recalls, "and they still talk about the time when one kicked the other from inside mommy's belly." Find out if the hospital where you will deliver your baby has a sibling class. Teri Carpino, LPN, teaches age-specific sibling classes on Saturday afternoons at Kingston Hospital in Kingston. The sibling gets a tour of the maternity wing, a snack, and a lesson on safety. Carpino teaches the siblings about tasks they can do with mom's help, such as feeding and changing the baby, and they are shown how to hold the baby safely. The arrival of a newborn considerably alters your toddler's world, even if he has been well-prepared for his new brother's or sister's arrival. Therefore, he should not have to worry about other major changes, such as toilet training or learning to sleep in a big bed. Try to initiate these changes several months before or after the new baby arrives; it is not uncommon for young children to regress with milestone accomplishments once the new baby comes home. "I remember my son completely ignoring the baby when I brought her home," Tsoubris recalls. "He was only 18 months old. It wasn't until my daughter started making some noises that he had a problem, which occurred mostly at feeding time. So I made a basket of special toys for him to play with only at feeding time, which included a doll that he also fed. My second child had a harder time. She was 2� and was almost fully toilet trained. That went out the window and she wasn't toilet trained until she was three." It will help your child if he feels a part of the process. "I had the kids participate in caring for the baby as much as possible and each had their own stroller, doll, and highchair during the times that the baby needed attention," Tsoubris says. Don't neglect your older child Don't assume that older children will take the numerous changes a new baby brings to family life in stride. Even teenagers can be affected by the change in lifestyle. Be sure to talk to your older kids about their concerns. They might be worried about your availability with homework help or carpools. Try to work out new schedules and solutions together. Your older child can also be a huge help to you. Moms are often exhausted and overwhelmed when a new baby first comes home. Older siblings can heat bottles, change diapers, and rock baby while Mom is busy with something else. "Older children can help with the care of the baby," Carpino says. "However, it's important for older children to realize that they are not ultimately responsible for the baby." You may want to work out a babysitter fee for your older child or a special night out with you once per month to show appreciation for the helping hand. Quality time - a must for ALL of your kids! Remember that jealousy often stems from your child feeling threatened that you will not love him as much now that there is another baby in the house. Children may act out and throw tantrums in an attempt to get mom's attention back. Younger children may regress to behavior that was already mastered; for instance, recently potty-trained toddlers may soil their pants, children may restart a thumb-sucking habit or they may leave their own bed at night to sleep with mommy. Set aside time, on a regular basis, to do something fun together with your older children. "When the baby slept, I made sure each had some one-on-one time and 'big kid' time," says Tsoubris. Fortunately, your new baby will sleep often the first few months, so it won't be too difficult to do this. By the time baby is wakeful a good part of the day, your older children will have acclimated to their new family role. Don't forget your older kids, even if they don't express the need for your attention. Your preteen might appreciate a night out to the movies while Dad babysits. Myrna Beth Haskell is a freelance writer and a mom of two living in Dutchess County. She has been a regular contributor to Hudson Valley Parent for seven years. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=854 Babies and Toddlers Elementary School Family Middle School Preschool Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=854 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT For the first time, researchers have established a clear link between rejecting behaviors of families toward lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) adolescents and negative health outcomes in early adulthood. The findings will be published in the January issue of Pediatrics, the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, in a peer-reviewed article titled "Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Young Adults."   The paper, authored by Dr. Caitlin Ryan and her team at the C�sar E. Ch�vez Institute at San Francisco State University, which shows that parents' rejecting behaviors towards their LGB children dramatically compromises their health, has far reaching implications for changing how families relate to their LGB children and how LGB youth are served by a wide range of providers across systems of care.   "For the first time, research has established a predictive link between specific, negative family reactions to their child's sexual orientation and serious health problems for these adolescents in young adulthood - such as depression, illegal drug use, risk for HIV infection, and suicide attempts," said Caitlin Ryan, PhD, Director of the Family Acceptance Project at the C�sar E. Ch�vez Institute at SF State and lead author of the paper. "The new body of research we are generating will help develop resources, tools and interventions to strengthen families, prevent homelessness, reduce the proportion of youth in foster care and significantly improve the lives of LGBT young people and their families." See how one local teen came out to her family, and was met with love and support.   What the research in this new study revealed: Higher rates of family rejection during adolescence were significantly associated with poorer health outcomes for LGB young adults. LGB young adults who reported higher levels of family rejection during adolescence were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to report having engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse, compared with peers from families that reported no or low levels of family rejection. Latino males reported the highest number of negative family reactions to their sexual orientation in adolescence. "This study clearly shows the tremendous harm of family rejection, even if parents think they are well-intentioned, following deeply held beliefs or even protecting their children," said Dr. Sten Vermund, a pediatrician and Amos Christie Chair of Global Health at Vanderbilt University.   "In today's often hostile climate for LGBT youth, it is especially important to note that both mental health issues like depression and suicide and HIV risk behaviors were greatly increased by rejection. Given the ongoing HIV epidemic in America, in which half of all new cases of HIV are found in men who have sex with men and there is growing concern about prevention messages reaching young people, it is vital that we share these findings with parents and service providers who work with youth in every way," Vermund continued.   "When put to practical, day-to-day use and shared with families and those who serve LGBT youth, these findings will lead to healthier, more supportive family dynamics and better lives for LGBT young people," Vermund concluded.   The prevailing approach by pediatricians, nurses, social workers, school counselors, peer advocates and community providers has focused almost exclusively on directly serving LGBT youth, and does not consider the impact of family reactions on the adolescent's health and well-being.     Subsequent work with ethnically diverse families by the Family Acceptance Project indicates that parents and caregivers can modify rejecting behavior once they understand the serious impact of their words and actions on their LGBT children's health. In addition, even a little change in parental behavior appears to have a clear impact on decreasing LGBT young people's risk. This new family-related approach to working with LGBT youth being developed by the Family Acceptance Project engages families as allies in decreasing the adolescent's risk and increasing their well-being while respecting the family's deeply held values.   "The new family-related behavioral approach to care being developed by the Family Acceptance Project offers great promise to change the future for LGBT youth and their families by helping parents and caregivers learn how to support their LGBT children and to prevent these extremely high levels of risk related to family rejection," said Erica Monasterio, MN, FNP, in the Division of Adolescent Medicine and Family Health Care Nursing at UCSF. "Rather than seeing families as part of the problem, this approach engages them as an essential resource in promoting healthy outcomes for their LGBT children."   "We are using our research to develop a new model of family-related care to decrease the high levels of risk for LGBT young people that restrict life chances and full participation in society," said Dr. Ryan.   "Our easy-to-use behavioral approach will help families increase supportive behaviors and modify behaviors their LGBT children experience as rejecting that significantly increase their children's risk. However, redirecting practice and professional training - from not asking about family reactions to a young person's LGBT identity to engaging families in promoting their LGBT children's well-being - requires a substantial shift on the part of both mainstream and LGBT providers, health systems and community programs." The Family Acceptance Project is a community resaerch, intervention and education initiative that studies the impact of family acceptance and rejection on the health, mental health and well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. For information, visit  http://familyproject.sfsu.edu. http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=853 Family Health Middle School Teens http://www.hvparent.com/articles/article.aspx?id=853 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT